“Gardening is civil and social, but it wants the vigor and freedom of the forest and the outlaw.” – Henry David Thoreau
I’ve been having some trouble settling down to write about gardening these days. Bad things happen all over the world daily. Each day we must wake up and get on with it, regardless. Because there are bills to pay and mouths to feed and because our lives go on no matter what. This is the way of the world. It’s no wonder we are all half crazy. But every once and a while it either feels like it is all hitting the fan at once, or we notice it more acutely. Some terrible events hit our buttons harder and trigger something inside us that can not be so easily set aside, muted, or turned off. Nor should they be. For me that’s been the events in Ferguson, Missouri. I see this as a turning point, an opportunity for us all to wake up and change. I support the people of Ferguson who are out in the streets every day and have been for so many days now, demanding justice and asking that the world open up their eyes and see. I think it is important for me to say this publicly because where human rights movements have struggled in the past is when people turned away and told themselves it was not “that bad” or not their problem.
I see you. I am with you. I will not shut my eyes.
“It is harder than it used to be because everything has become speeded up and overcrowded. So everything that slows us down and forces patience, everything that sets us back into the slow cycles of nature, is a help. Gardening is an instrument of grace.” – May Sarton from Journal of a Solitude.*
For me, right now, writing about gardening feels trite and insignificant. But then when I am out picking fresh tomatoes, adding scraps to the composter, watering the pots, and watching the bees dance in the sun, I can see and feel that this is not insignificant. This is self care, which incidentally, author Audre Lorde referred to as, “…an act of political warfare.” There is meaning and life and love and pain and wonder and suffering and joy here in the garden. I’ve never found gardening to be particularly civil or social (see H. D. Thoreau quote above) and have come to think that perhaps these are traits that we force upon it. We inject it with Botox and fillers (and spillers), add splashes of color and 11 Ways to the Perfect Lawn and demand that it all fall into line. We grit our teeth, begging, You will be neat and orderly and pretty and NICE, dammit!
Life is a mess. The garden is a mess. The world is a mess. We’re all a mess.
This (all of this) is my own quiet rebellion.
“What to call the thing that happened to me and all who look like me? Should I call it history? If so, what should history mean to someone like me? Should it be an idea, should it be an open wound with each breath I take in and expel healing and opening the wound again and again, over and over, and is this healing and opening a moment that began in 1492 and has yet to come to an end?” – Jamaica Kincaid from My Garden (Book)
* May Sarton wrote those words in 1973. Imagine what she’d think of life now.
Oh Gayla, this was beautiful. This and last week’s post. I would absolutely love to read a memoir-ish book of yours, and I’m sure many other would too. I agree that gardening and time spent with nature helps to heal the soul, or whatever it is inside that makes us human.
I also find the news very overwhelming these days. Syria, Gaza, Ebola, Ferguson… it’s enough to make a human want to leave the human race. As a mom, it’s depressing to think that this world doesn’t seem to be getting any better and what kind of place will it be for my kid? Some days I can barely hold it together and feel like I’ll break into a million pieces for feeling the weight of the world. It’s easy to wonder what the point of it all could be?
It’s a good reminder to step back, or step into, a space away from it all. Thank you for that. So glad I can call you a friend.
Thank you. I read your comment while on a crowded streetcar and found myself choking back tears. I’m not a parent so while I do think about the next generation, I don’t feel the same sense of urgency and it’s good to be reminded. I think that things are getting better, but that change isn’t linear. That’s the mistake we make. We assume, Oh that’s done with now, and get on with it. Out of sight, out of mind. But systemic, long-range problems like racism don’t go away abruptly. I guess I’m still naive enough to believe that if we can face the ugly truths of our society then we can inch forward just a bit.
Very beautiful and my thoughts exactly. Thank you for putting them into words.
Once *in a while- ffs get some fucking literacy please.
Wow, really? As a grown-up you thought that was an appropriate response to this writing?
Thank you for calmly bringing this tragedy to my attention. Clearly, this is the worst thing to happen in America.
Freja Leonard, what an uncalled-for and unpleasant thing to say. What on earth would make you spout off with something like this?
Gayla,
I love what you wrote here. I’ve been so distracted by the mess in the world, especially what is going on in Ferguson. Gardening — the taking care of small things –is almost always a balm for the soul. But I find it hard to write about too, as it seems like so much fluff, when the world is in so much pain and misery. I think what you have done with your writing here, folding the bad (seeing the world) into the good (tending the garden) is such a good exercise. I will follow your example.
I tried to resist taking the bait if that’s what it was rather than just ignorantly crude negativity…..BUT….”Frija Leonard” or whoever you really are please get a life that doesn’t spread “raw compost” around the world. There’s enough of that occurring naturally without having supposed adult human beings contributing more.
This is a classy and sincere blog written by an author with those same attributes and adds great writing skills to boot.
I rarely comment on blogs but this one just put me over the top. Sorry if I stepped out of line.
And I truly don’t care if my spelling and/or grammar are correct so save it if you’re still floating around.
Before I was forced to sell my late parent’s house I found the gardens and act of gardening to be the only peaceful refuges for myself many, many times. I still miss it so much after 4 years that I still read all my many favorite garden themed blogs.
Thanks to you, Gayla, and also to your other considerate readers. You never know who you’ve touched in this almost endless blogland but know you do just that.
Not much to add. Just ‘well done.’
Holy cow Freja Leonard. You need to go sit in a garden and chill out.
you got linked in apartment theraphy!
http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/a-bounty-of-herbs-try-these-diy-smudge-sticks-fire-starters-for-your-backyard-gathering-207311
Dear Gayla,
I’ve been reading your blog for about 6 months, I’m 24 and I live in Russia. I can’t express how I’m ashamed of how our government behave in this situation with Ukraine. I despise all those people who believe our government who says it’s our duty to “help” our brothers in Donbass. Every day more people die. Sometimes it’s so hard to walk these streets, that only gardening can pull me out of despair. I don’t think that writing about it is insignificant in any way, because it’s essential to feel life vibrating if we don’t want to wither of melancholy, and what can help feel life going on than a garden full of it’s rythms?How can you know, maybe with your posts you make people happier, and lots of them need it now, when the world is so hostile.And about rebellion. I think it’s not only important not to turn away from those who fight for their rights, but it is necessary not to let build barriers between people. Here, in Russia, I feel lonely because there are few young people who are crazy about gardening like me, and even less are pleasant to have a chat with. But when I read blogs like yours I feel less left out. Our news channels keep telling us that those americans, kanadians, the English, australians – they are all our enemies who dream to destroy Russia. According to what I see on international channels, you are said pretty much the same. Well, it’s your choice what to think about people like me, but I refuse to see you and people like you as enemies, because people like you who help me every day with new tips or just nice photos can’t be my enemies. I think if we all share the same passion for gardening, why not refuse to accept this boundaries that governments force us to build? Anyway, thanks for your attention and don’t be too moody because your cheerful blog can cheer up someone else.
A fan in Russia! Gayla is touching gardeners all over – Good for you!
Even though we are all a mess, we all have moments of clarity and moments of divine joy and the garden helps immensely.
I enjoyed this post soooo much and I think it is incredibly well-written! I can hear your voice in your writing and it really speaks to me. I love gardening too and I agree just being in nature is food for my soul, especially when I feel overwhelmed by all the not-so-good things in the world today. Keep on keeping on : )
Found this website while searching for an apple cider recipe, then stumbled across this post, the comments, and was moved to write. My grandparents came to Canada from Germany and Lithuania, my cousins are Ukrainian, and in response to Masha, I feel that ordinary people are not responsible for what policy makers do. We can choose a “quiet rebellion” by gardening and consuming less, by not going along with things that we know are wrong, and by our hope that if we can love our messy and imperfect gardens, then a higher power can love us too (jw.org). So sorry about what happened in Ferguson, and hope that people can forgive and treat each other better. Meanwhile, I will be looking for advice on permaculture and by the way, does anyone have experience with Apios Americana?
I was just listening to the news today and having very similar thoughts as the ones you write here. I think the fact that I just read this post for the first time today, after also feeling the weight of the tragedies in this world–Ebola, Syria, ISIS, and on and on–and trying to find how what I am doing here on my farm might be making some small positive impact to tip things back into balance, just the fact that I found your post is cause for hope. The world has a way of bringing us to the words we need when we need them, and your words have sent out a light to so many. Don’t all rebellions start quietly? Let this be part of the healing, a rebellion that begins in the garden.
What a refreshing post! Stumbling on it late but the effect is not lost on me. Beautifully written and a poignant, appreciated statement.