I had big plans, HUGE PLANS, to use this post to write about exciting topics that were guaranteed to delight and amuse, but then we popped over to the community garden this evening to check on the first zucchini — which you can guess by now began as a simple task but quickly turned into a marathon work session. I have been waiting on eggshells for the first little miniature penis-like thing to be pollinated (incidentally this phallic-like thing is the female flower) by the pollen from a male flower and evolve into a full-grown zucchini. Before someone says it, yes I could have pollinated the female flower myself but I was not at the garden when the flower was open.
I don’t know what it is about that first zucchini that inspires such excitement although I suppose the first of just about anything worth harvesting from the garden is exciting. The first tomato, the first pinch of basil, the first onion, I can’t think of a single first in the garden that doesn’t inspire even the tiniest mental high five. Read aloud that makes me sound an awful lot like the dudes from “Gummo” as they glow with pride over a haul of dead cats. “I’m pretty smart if I do say so myself.”
Come to think of it I’d say that the other thing about that first zucchini is that waiting for it to grow becomes like a sort of death watch, a race between myself, an unknown mammalian critter who just loves to take a solitary bite from my zucchinis, and the developing fruit. Will I get to the zucchini BEFORE it is discovered by a mammalian critter (i.e. ground hog, opposum, cat) but AFTER the zucchini has reached a large enough size for picking? Who will win? Do I take a chance and leave it just one more day only to arrive the following afternoon to discover a ready-to-harvest fruit still on the vine but with a few scattered chunks and teeth marks cut into it? It’s all the thrill of gambling without any of the reward. First you get the zucchini, then you get the power. This has happened many times, and god knows I don’t enjoy it, but the disappointment of defeat is a lot more acceptable once a few good-sized zucchini’s have made it to the dinner table.
As you can see from the picture I did not take a chance and removed the zucchini even though it could have gone another day or two. But you know, it’s the first one of the season, it’s a reasonable size, and it’s edible.
I’m pretty smart if I do say so myself.
Special thanks to Davin Risk, the Official You Grow Girlâ„¢ Hand Model Alternate. The t-shirt should clear up any question as to our country of origin. Hint: It rhymes with Free Health Care.
i knew it was a stunt double when i saw those manly hands! a lovely zuchinni. tiny high five! :)
Okay now I have to grow a yellow variety next year. I have about ten almost ready-to-pick zucchinis outside. Zucchinipalooza has begun!
I am filled to the brim with envy! I am covinced I have gay zuchinni (not that there’s anything wrong with that)! I had a few lovely wee budding zuchinni that shrivled away to nothing within a week. I then decided it must be a bee thing and decided to hand pollinate. For the last two weeks I have gone out every day to the zuchinni plants to help them get it on, only to find a bevy of male flowers! Two weeks of nothing but male flowers! Don’t get me wrong, they are beautiful flowers but I wouldn’t mind a little fruit! At least I have the Dufferin Grove Farmers Market near by so I can get my zuchinni fix from them. Still … I would love to see a lady flower on my plants one day ….
I agree! First of anything is exciting!
I harvested my first ever space-ship shaped scallopini last night. It is a thrill to get anything to harvest, especially with critters..I have all kinds of birds, raccoons, hawks, lizards, mice, opposums, etc…and have lost fruits of my labors to them..but that’s okay if at least I can have most of the harvest.
Tammigail: All male flowers is really normal in the beginning. Most of my plants are all male flowers too. The females have been slow coming. Soon enough you’ll have lots of both. I suggest eating the male flowers.
Amy: This variety has pretty nice leaves but I think yours might be nicer. I am also growing ‘Yellow Scallop’ which has boring leaves but pretty fruit. It’s a bit behind and hasn’t produced yet.
Me’Chelle: You’ve got all the critters there.
So true~ there is nothing like the first zucchini.
That’s one vegetable that we don’t put up because I don’t like them frozen or canned. So we eat the hell out of them while they’re fresh.
yay for free health care, and that is one fine zucchini.
Heh… Gotta love the vegetable firsts. I found some bizarre squash in the compost pile. An unholy, but probably edible cross between last year’s patty pans and yellow crook necks. Ahh, the love that dare not speak its name- mystery squash.
That’s the problem with cucurbits they cross pollinate so you can’t save the seed/rely on self germinators from the compost heap. Unless you know there is no-one growing cucumbers courgettes (the UK name for zuccinni)or any kind of pumpkin squash for at least a mile radius you have to buy seed. Your mutant will almost certainly be edible ie non-poisonous but is quite likely to be very bitter, a quality bred out of commercial varieties
I am having a similar problem where my zucchini is flowering but isn’t producing into fruit. There are three plants close together. Do I need to go out and pollinate them by hand? I have other types of squash that are doing the same thing, flowering and not setting fruit. Also, I have had many tiny patty pans start to fruit and then fall off when very tiny. Anyone have any suggestions for me? Thanks, Gayla I am jelous of your cute zucchini.
I am having a similar problem where my zucchini is flowering but isn’t producing into fruit. There are three plants close together. Do I need to go out and pollinate them by hand? I have other types of squash that are doing the same thing, flowering and not setting fruit. Also, I have had many tiny patty pans start to fruit and then fall off when very tiny. Anyone have any suggestions for me? Thanks, Gayla I am jelous of your cute zucchini.
oops sorry it posted twice
I remember my first carrots, lumpy orange rocks, the result of adobe soil, but hey, I was 6!
Dang, now I’m regretting my decision not to grow zucchini this year.
I’m waiting for pumpkins, which is a much longer wait.
Aye, it’s a lovely zucchini. Like your radishes, Gayla, I’ve never been able to successfully grow zucchini. The fruit always rots while still wee. Any idea why?
PS: I *heart* CBC. Now must go in search of vintage t-shirt.